The DVDs I haven't reviewed

     Apparently, I don't give an opinion on everything.  Here's what I haven't posted about, either because I was too lazy or didn't care enough.

AUGUST

Blessed (2006) — So, this was pretty awful.  It is slow, overly low-key, and Heather Graham puts close to nothing into her performance.

Heartland: The Complete Second Season (2008-09) — I only watched one episode, out of devotion to Katharine Isabelle.  But it looked like a decent, mostly wholesome show.  Better than most of the other Canadian offerings as of late.

Snow Angels (2007) — It is hard to make a movie that doesn't note just how unbelievably attractive Kate Beckinsale is.  But there is too much going on in this one, to the detriment of the two major stories at play.  Not a bad movie, but not as focused as it should have been.

SEPTEMBER

Rec (2007) — Good, but I still prefer Quarantine (2008).  There is certainly a different central element at play here.  Much more horror in concept than its American cousin.

The Resident (2011) — This was horrible.  Plodding.  Predictable.  Completely lacking in tension.  I have a hard time believing that both stars wanted to do this movie, but it is hard to criticize working actors when it comes to taking jobs.

Fanboys (2009) — There is a good concept at work here, but the delivery is lacking.  Maybe it would have been better if the movie hadn't be reworked and scenes re-done in an effort to make it more mainstream.  But my main problem was the idea that more Seth Rogen is ever better.

The Special Relationship (2010) — This was a disappointment.  It essentially shows how necessary, but not always friendly, the relationships between Great Britain's Prime Minister and the American President.  Too much time was spent on tidbits and too little on the meat of the relationship.  Really felt more like an old-school Network TV movie.

Limitless (2011) — Not bad, but I found myself eager for this one to end.  If Cooper weren't so charismatic, I don't know if it would have gotten a release.

Thor (2011) — I hated this movie.  Just hated it.

X-Men: First Class (2011) — I liked this prequel, but will continue to wonder why starting the X-Men as the comics started is an impossibility.

OCTOBER

Definitely, Maybe (2008) — I have a man-crush on Ryan Reynolds.  He is great in this, as is Isla Fisher.  This could have been tighter, but it is one of the better rom-coms I've seen in a while.

Scream of the Banshee (2011) — Ugh. 

Mirrors (2008) — Too much early action, not enough of a slow build for my tastes.  I also couldn't understand why prime real estate was just sitting there waiting to claim victims with its haunting.

Ann Rule Presents The Stranger Beside Me (2003) — Yeah, this was a TV movie that did nothing to give a better idea of how the people close to Ted Bundy had no idea he was a serial killer.

NOVEMBER

Feast (2005) — Hey, Krista Allen keeps her top on.  I actually like Feast, but it is a flawed horror film.  One of the better creature features I've seen from the modern era, but too casual with how the characters are disposed of.

Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda: Season One (2000-01) — Much worse than I remember.  Hard to see how this ran for five seasons.

Killshot (2008) — Mickey Rourke as a Native American hitman.  If the film had centered on him, I think it would have appealed to me more.  The victim characters are underdeveloped (but played by likeable actors), and that means that there isn't any investment in terms of what happens to them.

DECEMBER

Bond of Silence (2010) — TV movie that wastes the talents of Kim Raver and Greg Grunberg.

Red (2010) — A little too over-the-top for me, but at least Red was entertaining.

Gene Roddenberry's Earth Final Conflict: Season One (1997-98) — Wow.  There was actually a good show here in the first season.  Sure, it had too many campy moments, but it really looked like it was laying the groundwork for a great humans vs. aliens, cloak and dagger series.

Attack the Block (2011) — I was rooting for the aliens for most of this.  Just couldn't root for the wanna-be thugs.

JANUARY

Adventureland (2009) — Hey, its Ryan Reynolds having sex with Kristen Stewart.  I kind of expect that to happen in real life.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011) — Somehow, this was worse than the original trilogy.  And they managed to add a bunch of characters I couldn't be bothered to care about.  Note to Disney: these movies can all be an hour shorter.

Gene Roddenberry's Earth Final Conflict: Season Two (1998-99) — Robert Leeshock (not pictured above) takes over as the lead and the show goes to hell.  Coincidence?  Maybe.  But killing off the main character and removing the subtlety made this show go from good to awful in about two episodes.

Green Lantern (2011)

[So, I guess I am rather careless about spoiling some aspects of the film.  But I assume that anyone who really wanted to see it has already.]
     On one hand, Ryan Reynolds will always be Michael "Berg" Bergen from Two Guys and a Girl (originally Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place, 1998-2001)...and not just because he continues to bring that kind of faux-shy charm and gentle snarkiness to most of his roles - National Lampoon's Van Wilder (2002), Blade: Trinity (2004), Just Friends (2005), Waiting (2005), and X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009).  On the other, he is an actor who is willing to take chances with smaller films and less traditional roles - something that works in Chaos Theory (2008) and comes up short in Buried (2010) - and finds ways to take the appeal out of the managed charm in Adventureland (2009), where he gives the strongest and most honest performance in the film.  But in Green Lantern (2011), he seems to have been given the instruction of playing Hal Jordan as half Berg and half before he was crazy John Crichton from Farscape (1999-2003) as played by Ben Browder.  Given that I have an incredible man-crush on the Crichton character, this really works for me in Green Lantern.
     In fact, I could watch Reynolds be Jordan all day long.  As a regular human or in the suit.  And that would have been a good enough movie for me, because it would be giving me exactly what I want.  At the same time, I realize that this isn't the recipe for a blockbuster.  Still, if the producers wanted blockbuster, why go with a hero like Green Lantern? 
     Where Green Lantern disappoints – and it does – is in its heavy-handed, leaden handling of truly unnecessary exposition, leading up to a confrontation that is ultimately self-defeating.  The greatest threat known to the universe is defeated by a neophyte on his first real mission.  Seriously.  Too much is made of the alienness of the Green Lantern corps, and no attention is paid to Hal Jordan being able to breathe and speak in space because he now wears a fancy glowing ring.
     The other aspects of the film kind of work.  Reynolds is strong in the lead, giving Jordan charm and insecurities.  Blake Lively is surprisingly likable in a stock role of damsel in distress who has the emotional key to the hero's heart, though she is probably about five years too young for the details of her character's life; not a lot of 25 year old test pilots who also have MBAs and are set to take over a multi-billion dollar defense contractor business in anything resembling the real world.  Accomplished actors Tim Robbins, Jay O. Sanders, and Angela Bassett aren't given much to justify putting such recognizable faces in their roles, but they play them well.  Peter Sarsgaard goes beyond a soulless aping of Dale Midkiff (see my complaints about Orphan) and gives his character nuance and menace.  Truly, his character arc – because of how well it is played – felt like it was worthy of its own film.  Why not give a burgeoning super-villain his own movie?
     There is enough self-awareness of the ridiculousness of superhero convention to keep the movie from becoming dull.  Sure, the suit pops out of nowhere, because how else could the corps have the same outfit.  It isn't like the funding covers sending tailors all over known space maintaining the uniforms.  A simple mask completely obscures the hero's identity?  Well, not to those who really know him; Lively has the best line ever given in regards to this.  The power of the ring is dependent on the will and imagination of the wearer, but not much work goes into training Jordan how to extend his imagination or focus his will.  One would think that improv classes and some Tai Chi would be much more useful that dropping some heavy objects on his head, but it wouldn't be as funny to watch or visually stimulating.
     I would have to think that Green Lantern could have shaved off much of the backstory of the corps and the time on the alien planet of Oa without making the audience feel lost.  Let the story be about Hal Jordan and his coming to terms of what is being asked of him.  Having him have to save the planet within a month of getting drafted feels cheap and stupid, something that blockbusters shouldn't try to be...no matter how much money Michael Bay's Transformers movies make.  Revealing the Green Lantern universe – moving him further away from Earth and his loved ones – should be something that happens as the story evolves; it should have been saved for any planned sequels. 
     In the end, Green Lantern is enjoyable, but it is far from a masterpiece.  In trying so hard to launch a franchise, it hides what would give it life – the characters.  Still, it is a better payoff than reading through 50 years of comic books or enduring the animated Green Lantern products which require a fair amount of knowledge from the comic books.  But Reynolds is good in it and that is enough reason to see it.

The Nightman and Wrath: A Sample of Malibu Comics' Ultraverse (1993-94)

Warning!

This is undoubtedly the longest – mostly due to the insane amount of images added – post this blog should ever dare to post.  The smart thing to do would have been to cut it down and treat both titles in the more general sense, but I went whole hog and never intend on touching on either title ever again.

     Real comic book geeks can speak volumes about the various publishers, artists, and writers that have made a true impact in the field.  I am not one of those people.  Sure, I could tell you that Spawn is – or was – an Image Comics title, or that Robocop verses the Terminator came from Darkhorse (and I never read either of these).  I followed some of the X-Men and X-Factor story arcs that Marvel put out there.  But I tended towards less successful publishers.  That could mean following The Justice Machine from Comico to Innovation – I got started too late to be reading it from its days with Texas Comics or Noble Comics – or ElfQuest on WaRP graphics.  And in 1993 it meant I went and found a title from Malibu Comics to follow, and it was The Night Man.
     Now, one does not have to be an avid fan of the graphic arts to be a fan of Batman.  Because Batman is cool, right?  Unless we want to imagine him as Adam West or a member of the superfriends.  Or if we want to ignore that he is little more than an update on Zorro, because Zorro – I do not mean Antonio Banderas Zorro – is cooler than Batman.  Still, Batman is mostly cool, and he is a compelling superhero.  But is is also one with a lot of backstory and an established stable of villains.  What would someone do if they wanted a Batman-like character, starting from scratch, and done right?
     They would have picked up The Night Man.

Kremin (1991-94)

Kremin – Issue #1, Volume #1

     It may seem odd to kick off a week of posts dedicated to comic books and graphic novels with a little known title – Kremin (1991-94) – that had an extremely limited run.  Chances are good that neither you nor your children ever dressed up as Kremin for Halloween.  There has never been a blockbuster movie starring the character.  Indeed, I have a feeling that most the the reading public would have no idea who he is or what he does.  So why start with this title?
     Part of that has to do with my own history in regards to comics, and I will detail part of that in this post.  Another reason – and probably the more compelling one – is that the man behind this indy title is still in the industry, still making a go at releasing titles and stories that aren't in the mold of the major players in the industry.  That man is named Charles D. Moisant, and he was good enough to give me a couple hours of his time to help me better understand from where he – and the character of Kremin – were coming.  I will address some of Mr. Moisant's current projects later in the post, as well as what you – the reader – can do in order to support his efforts and vision if you find his work to your liking.  I would very much like to encourage you to visit his sites and give his work a chance.
     But back to me for a brief while.  

Kremin – Issue #2, Volume #1

     I never really considered myself a Jeff Albertson, especially when I was young, fit, and had a head full of hair.  I just wasn't that into comic books.  I do remember the first comic book that was given to me as a gift was a Batman title in which Batman died.  Batman died!  Well, Batman of Third Earth, but still not a great start for getting a child interested in the format.  My best friend got me into ElfQuest and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in graphic novel format (when that term wasn't just applied to a comic book printed on higher quality paper with a more robust cover), but I didn't follow his interest in picking up the Conan comics he voraciously read.  
     I had a pretty limited interest when it came to titles.  I did follow ElfQuest for a while, but it eventually stopped being interesting to me; nothing could beat the original quest in terms of story.  I was a huge fan of Robotech (1985) and tried to get every issue of Robotech Invid War that Comico put out.  I picked up a few issues of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but found the stand-alones to be less fulfilling than the graphic novels (especially #1 & #4).  But I was more likely to buy a Marvel title at a 7-11 to have something disposable to read than I was to start following a new title.

Kremin – Issue #3, Volume #1

     I had a few places to go to buy comics when I found a title I wanted to follow.  There was a comic book shop in Worth, IL that was across the street from my eye doctor (Dr. Richard Dykstra) – I want to say that it was All-American Comics, but I could be wholly mistaken in regards to the name.  There was a store just down the second story walkway from Orland Hobbies – when it was off of La Grange Road in Orland – that was relatively accessible.  But the only comic book store I felt a kinship with was Taurus Comics in Cheboygan, MI.  I would wager that had more to do with the fact that my time in the upper Lower Peninsula meant limited contact with people my age and comics were an easy refuge.
     The other place I could go for comics was One Stop Comics in Oak Park, IL.  Where most of my friends – actually, all of my friends – came from stable, two parent homes, I was a child of divorce.  Even though I lived in Orland Park with my father from 1989 to early 1993, I also spent time with my mother in the other OP.  One Stop was kind of an all-purpose comic book store (it still exists, but I have not been in it in years).  It is where I picked up my AD&D 2nd Ed. PHB and the Dark Sun box set.  I think I even bought a novel there.  But what I will remember most about One Stop, other than it was an easy walk from my mother's apartment (and less depressing than it, too), is that it was where I could find Kremin.  

Kremin – Issue #4, Volume #1

     I guess it would be more appropriate to say that Kremin found me.  Writer/Publisher Charles D. Moisant was in one day signing copies of his new title.  And it was decidedly local.  Not that I considered myself part of Oak Park, but I still saw the appeal.  You may have noted that I popped for a signed copy of issue #1, complete with a mistake on which number out of the 1,000 it was.  
     But what kind of title was Kremin?

Kremin opens with this page.  I ask you to direct your attention to the car below.  Or the narrowness of the building – with no support on either side.  This is what I think of when I write that Kremin looked unprofessional in its debut issue.

Weird body language and proportions, but what got to me was that it took an extra two panels to get back to Bryon Morrison and Hacer Ciencia to get on their way to the laboratory.

Byron Morrison waking up with souped-up powers.  But the quality of the artwork leaves something to be desired.

This is an entire page dedicated to announcing the characters are going to eat at Starship Subs.  And the dialogue is a little clunky.  But it isn't the worst looking page in the debut issue.

This weird picture of Hacer reaching out of the page?  Yeah, that may be my least favorite part of the first issue.

Byron Morrison as the Wave, in a page that looks like it belongs in a completely different book.

The closing page from Kremin #1.  I like it, except...look at the legs.  Still, a sign of better things to come.  Oh, by the way, Kremin doesn't go splat in the first issue.

      That really needs to be addressed in stages.  It is hinted at in the actual issues –and was confirmed by Moisant – that Kremin was a kind of early foray into the format.  It also did not have a bankroll behind it.  What may have been intended as a monthly, bi-monthly, or even quarterly title ended up being released as the money to make it happen became available.  It was a kind of super-independent independent title being published by its creator.  
     Kremin was an ultra-local title.  Never mind that the it was published locally, it was set in the neighborhood.  The restaurant of choice for the souped-up heroes is Starship.  The people buy their comics at One Stop.  The local mall is a stand in for the North Riverside Mall (becoming the North of Riverfield Mall, I assume to avoid any legal issues).  The local bank may seem to be set a ways south – it is the Park Forest Bank – but is merely Forest Park flipped around for the comic.  It is pretty clear that the dangerous neighborhood one of the characters ventures into is Austin.  

From Issue #2.  The Wave will stop you from stealing a purse and make you speak English.  All while a Hitler-esque baddie is gunning for him.  That is what it means to be a souped-up hero.  But the artwork does look  better.

The Wave and Kremin don't exactly hit it off when they first meet.  Oh, by the way, it's issue #2 and Kremin is finally meeting the guy from issue #1.  Actually, it works in a comic book sort of way.

     The look?  Well, that definitely evolved.  Issue #1 simply didn't look good (see the selected images above).  It didn't look like the major labels.  It didn't look like the art school independents.  Quite frankly, it didn't look professional.  It got the point across, but it didn't convey much in the way of energy or movement.  It wasn't a self-contained issue, either, so the promise of more wasn't necessarily one that ensured a better project.  Then we get issue #2 in 1992 (with perhaps the ugliest cover ever).  But it looks better.  The lettering doesn't look like it was typed in and the scenes look much more dynamic.  Then something awesome happened.  Nivard Tuazone started doing the artwork for Kremin in issue #3, and it looked professional.  Better than anything the second tier artists at DC or Marvel were putting out.  Characters could look menacing one moment and comical the next, yet it still seemed consistent.  The quality of the artwork allowed for a smoother pace for the stories.  
     The theme?  Well, I guess I didn't think there was much of one when I first read Kremin.  I would ask for some consideration in regards to this; I was sixteen when issue #1 came out and nineteen when the run ended at issue #4.  I was young and there was quite a bit of time between each issue.  Re-reading it in preparation for this review, I came up with a different interpretation than the one put forth by Moisant.  My take – which is not the official one – is that Kremin is an anti-hero, a type of restrained anarchist who works not for ultimate freedom but to ensure small scale liberty from those who have no consideration for the rights of others.  He is in opposition to The Entity, an angelic figure who, in my take on the story is so concerned with huge picture Good that the destruction of entire worlds as perfectly acceptable when combating the threat of evil.

Page 3 from issue #3.  All of the sudden, Kremin looks like a professional, bad-ass comic book.  Big guns, super powers, baddies who want to be the Terminator.  Yeah, all of that can work.

Souped-up heroes sitting around, reading comic books.  This is cool in a meta sort of way, but it is immediately followed by a few pages of the comic they are reading.  With such a limited run, I would have preferred for more space been dedicated to the main story.  Again, the art work is miles beyond (maybe Streets Ahead) of where it was in issue #1.

That's right.  Even amongst friends, the Wave demands that you "Speak English!".  Well, I guess you don't want the guy with sonic powers – which can let him fly or blow a hole through a wall – becoming so frustrated that he just lashes out.

     Having written that, Kremin is part superheroes, part supernatural, and all aimed at the mindset of the adolescent male.  It takes full advantage of comic book logic, where tensions can be eased or erased in the space of a panel and tenuous connections are good enough to move the plot along.  In terms of roleplaying games, it is part Heroes Unlimited (from the Wave – an experiment – to Hacer Ciencia – a scientist piloting a robot), part Rifts (the inter-dimensional travel, the giant guns, magic, undead, and even part of Kremin's look), and all 1980s style where "cool story" trumps whatever the rules have to say.
     There are some problems with Kremin.  First of all, there is a lot of the story that simply doesn't make it to the page.  Moisant told me that when he started, he didn't really know how to pace a story for a comic book and even approached the first issue with kind of a stream of consciousness manner of writing.  Kremin doesn't play much of a role in the first issue of his book.  The other major player, the Wave, comes across as a bit of a bigot when he shouts at characters speaking Spanish to "Speak English!", though Moisant maintains that he is reacting more to a feeling of being left out when others speak in a language he doesn't understand.  Kremin himself is a bit of a misogynist who the ladies can't resist.  From what I learned from Moisant, there is more than enough information about each of the important characters to sustain them for a lengthy run, but so much is kept from the reader that these same characters are in part (except for the Wave) unfortunate enigmas.  Oddest of all, none of the issues were the same size in terms of dimensions.

Kremin adopts a disguise by changing the color of his skin – to pitch black.  No matter how bad I feel about typing this...he must not be from around here.

Kremin, shouting at The Entity.  Not only is this a great example of traditional comic book art – albeit with an indy touch – but it encapsulates the relationship between the two characters in a single panel.

     Still, Kremin does a pretty good job of telling a complex, mutli-dimensional story in the space of four issues.  It was relatively cheap for a real independent title – $2.50 for the first three issues, $2.95 for issue #4.  It found interesting ways to interject humor, some of which really worked (like where a comic book geek turns all Sam Spade when he learns the girl he was romancing is really a powerful necromancer) and some that didn't (the comic-book-within-a-comic-book may be funny, but it was maddening at the same time because it took space away from the main story, which already felt constrained by page count).
     So...what has Moisant been up to since?

Myth-Told Tales, based on the book from Robert Asprin and Jody Lynn Nye, published by Silver Phoenix Entertainment. 

Mystery Manor: Haunted Theory, another Silver Phoenix title.

     Well, there is a different publishing company.  Kremin came from Grey Productions, Inc.  Quite fittingly, the current one is Silver Phoenix Entertainment.  He has done some well regarded titles since the days of souped-up heroes, and has even more in the works.  Heck, you can even pick up all four issues of Kremin for $20 from the Silver Phoenix store (which would probably help any efforts to relaunch the title, and considering what some labels charge for back issues, it isn't a horrible price).

Roller Derby Drama

     The projects that deserve the most ink at present are the Roller Derby Drama Calendar and Blood Feast.  The former is both a tie-in to a title that would combine superheroines and roller derby (in a world where roller derby is the top sport) and Moisant's own sponsorship of a real-world roller derby team.  The latter, which is slated to feature an alternate cover by Joe Abboreno (who I consider a friend), is a more traditional horror type comic.  I like to think Blood Feast sounds like the spoof Mad Magazine did for Motel Hell (1980), with all of the humor and more gristly gore.  And looking really good.  

     Now, I know that not everybody has an affinity for horror as a genre, and horror-comedy is a hard mix to get right.  However, Moisant isn't new to the concept.  He has been doing the haunted house bits – in Nebraska and now in Illinois – for quite some time, so the fundamental understanding of how to incorporate the backstory (so often overlooked or underserved) in order to make the experience and tales pop.  Likewise, I get that not everybody gets excited about roller derby.  I know that I am not clearing my schedule to go out and watch matches, but at the same time I see the appeal and possibilities that the Roller Derby Drama concept can yield.  I'd like to see where Moisant could take it (even if it is in a brief run, like Kremin).

Joe Abboreno's work in progress artwork for Blood Feast.

     Moisant is actively seeking some funds to get both of these projects rolling, and I think that both are worth some investigation to see if they are your kind of thing.  But it is exceedingly difficult to find quality products that aren't part of the corporate propagation of their own brands.  It would be nice if those who have a taste for these products would be willing to pledge some support to them.
     Also slated to come from Silver Phoenix is Whispers from the Void.  From what Moisant told me, it is a horror comic title that is both well versed in the rich mythology of horror monsters, but also puts a unique psychological twist on them.  These beasties are all, at their core, motivated by one of the Seven Deadly Sins.  Oh, and the protagonists have to find a way to use these vices to achieve some sort of virtuous end (which doesn't mean that it has to be pleasant). 

     When Kremin came out, my life was starting to get a little better than it had been the two years prior.  When it ended its run, I was about as low as I ever could be.  Yet, perhaps because it is a comic book, it doesn't feel grounded to those times.  It harkens a bit of the adolescent hopefulness and rebellion that most of us keep buried inside, but has enough of a deeper element to maintain the interest of an adult.  If that was the level of quality a man just getting started in the industry stumbled upon, you have to know that it is guaranteed now.